Counselling psychologist Dr. Asuquo Udofia has stated that conflict is not the enemy of relationships but rather a necessary ingredient for building stronger and more mature unions.
Speaking on Springboard, Your Virtual University, with host Pastor. Albert Ocran, on conflict management in relationships, Dr. Udofia explained that disagreement is inevitable wherever two individuals with different backgrounds, values, and expectations come together. “As wide as human existence on earth,” he said when asked how widespread conflict is, noting that every human being will experience disagreement at some point.
He stressed that conflict in itself is not destructive. Rather, it is the inability to manage it that damages relationships. “Conflict is necessary to build a relationship. The maturity that will be found in that conflict is what determines the love and not the absence of conflict,” he stated.
According to him, most relationship conflicts stem from unmet needs, unmet values, unmet expectations, and unexpressed emotions. He explained that individuals enter relationships with spoken and unspoken expectations, as well as unconscious triggers shaped by childhood experiences and past trauma. “The root cause could be far away from the symptoms,” he said, adding that some recurring issues may be linked to patterns that have run through generations
Dr. Udofia identified poor communication as a major contributor to relationship breakdowns. Instead of blaming a partner during disagreements, he advised couples to take personal responsibility for expressing how they feel.
Drawing from his professional experience, Dr. Udofia noted that many couples seek counselling only as a last resort after conflicts have deepened. He recommended regular relationship evaluations, open communication, and shared vision building as preventive measures. “Believe that it is doable, that you can walk through this challenging moment,” he urged couples, adding that pride, name-calling, and shame often cause more damage than the conflict itself.
About Springboard, Your Virtual University
Springboard, Your Virtual University, is a weekly motivational and personal development broadcast produced by the Springboard Road Show Foundation and hosted by Pastor. Albert Ocran. The broadcast airs every Sunday at 7 PM on Joy 99.7 FM and on Springboard Channel (Facebook & YouTube) and at 9 PM on Joy News TV.